Be yourself and don't seek validation!!

Recently, there has been so many changes in myself, that I could completely distinguish me as a different personality compared to what I have been a couple of months back. I attribute these changes to the psychological mutations that has occurred in me as a direct consequence of understanding the concept of initiation. 


To put simply, initiation is a ritual which has been followed in ancient communities for converting a boy into a man. Just try to recollect why the boy in the movie 300 will be sent to the forest in spite of all the training he had in martial arts. That is one way of initiation. For the man in you to come out, the boy in you had to die. And precisely the day the boy dies, you are no longer under control. And believe me the world doesn't want that to happen. 

One of the most fascinating concepts I've come across recently is that, "people don't want you to change, because once you change you are no longer under control". 

Surprisingly, I experienced it firsthand. I started displaying changes in behavioural and body language patterns at my workplace and not long after that, my boss called me upstairs and he spoke to me as if something terrible has happened and finally told me that sometimes others are also intelligent, so just get along with them. I was completely surprised at this seemingly unrelated comment to my changes. In fact all of the changes I've been continuously referring to has nothing to do with my relationship with others, as opposed to my own perception of reality. But the truth is that he is not prepared to handle it, and was taken aback when something is happening which he cannot apparently understand.


If I take his comment seriously and try to be a good boy again, that isn't worth it! Sometimes people do not like us for who we are, and it's okay!! Be yourself and don't seek validation!!

A tough time COMPLAINING...

A couple of years ago while I was at Hyderabad, I used to comment at almost anything and everything. It was my perception that that is a way of expressing your personal choice and preference and in turn your personality. Little did I know then that all I was doing was COMPLAINING and it has nothing to do with COMMENTING.

It so happened that, myself with one of my friends and his girlfriend were dining at a restaurant at Somajiguda, as the service was poor, I refused to tip the waiter and "commented" on the quality of service. My friend's girlfriend was apparently not happy with that, to rescue me and to put an end to the prevailing uneasiness between both of us, my friend jumped in and he explained to me that she hates "COMPLAINING". It was in fact a meeting arranged by my friend to get me introduced to his girl.

Then I looked at both of them in despair and grumbled, "COME ON, Its not a complaint. Can't you understand that I wasn't complaining and it was a fact that the service was indeed bad."

Little did I know then about the difference between a complaining, a comment and a fact.

Having realised it now, I could really see that there are only a handful of people who hate complaining and invariably almost each one of them hate people who complain and it is a bit of a challenge for them not to complain on the people who complain right in front of them. :)

Having a tough time explaining,, and if you don't understand, "Please, do not complain".

A brand-new experience, a friend getting married!

Today I witnessed the wedding ceremony of one of my friends and the experience was totally different. To add a bit of facts to it, he is the first one in our group to get married.

I had been to so many marriages before, but never I had the strange feeling.

Humans live in groups, and whatever happens for the group effects each one in it. Whatever happens outside the circle is no big deal, isn't that?  (at least in a broad sense)

It so happens that in a group of friends almost everything happens "together"!

We play together,

We join school together,

We get promoted together,

We watch movies together,

We move on to college together,

We start working together,

We drink together,

We attend functions together, (the list is overwhelming ... )

At a marriage, we start together, we choose the gift together, we dine together, we pass comments on the bridegroom together*,

Irony, we don't get married together :D

I could see how illogical I am being... but just to say, that's a bit strange,,

*avan mokka payan machi... :) (guys do add to the list of comments we pass,,)

Happy Birthday - Sagarius!

It was exactly one year before when I bordered a plane at Hyderabad, I was filled with dreams and thoughts about the unlimited possibilities lying in front of me. I became a businessman at once. I have spent about 20+ years of my life to become a what I am today. Having run business for an year now it's time for us to enter into a different world. A world which is more mature and well-planned.
Now I can understand that I must focus on the way I look at things and we must always remember the mistakes we have made in the past year.

Since the day we started the company we have tried different businesses. If business equals a means of making money, then whatever we have been doing so far could be called businesses. Practically speaking, all things we were engaged in the first year are just works and not businesses.

Once a business expert remarked, "unless someone pays for it is just an idea".

Yes! It's true we had a lot of ideas. But we did not possess the power to transform these ideas into economically viable businesses. It's true every business starts with an idea, but the metamorphosis from idea to business is quite interesting and a lot more complex than anybody could possibly imagine. It is exactly this transformation "we missed". We offered to try every idea that occur to us and I once wrote in my journal that, "thinking without penning is a waste". It has so happened that they are in fact a waste.

Businesses are not just born out of casual conversations at the cafes. But a true business is conceived in the minds of an entrepreneur and is well documented covering the essential steps. And believe me, there are quite a few essential steps which works irrespective of the nature of the business. Though I don't wish to look behind, there are a lot of things which could be gathered only from the past.

The mistakes we have made (lessons we have learnt)

I would like to specifically numerate the five mistakes we made in the first year.

1. Anything that pays for your time not equals business. It's a job!

If you're always looking out for means to make money, you are putting your best efforts to make yourself self-employed and you're not running business. This is exactly what we did. Instead of trying to build a company, we just tried to use our skills to make money instantly. Which means, we have been employing ourselves at the expense of not building a company at all. This is the very reason why sagarius is still a baby even past 365 days.

2. "Those who fail to prepare--prepared to fail"

This could be well cited with our efforts for doing open source based businesses. One fine day it occurred to me that we could make a lot of money by providing open source solutions to clients in Coimbatore and the very next day I found myself sitting in front of a client discussing the prospects of giving him open source-based solutions. There was no preparation, there was no business plan, there was no documentation, there was no consultation, no discussion, no clear vision, no mission and obviously putting it all together the business in itself carried no meaning.
Guess what, we abandoned it the same day!

Lesson learnt: Great business is not what you think is great--but your client!

3. Do not ask opinions from your friends and neighbourhood.

It always so happens with entrepreneurs, whenever an idea occurs the next thing on earth they do is gather a few of their friends and discuss about it. I'm not completely against this but it is not always a good idea because, you will invariably end up with thumbs up and a positive note. Everybody would have a go for your idea.

It's not because they are not genuinely interested in your well-being, instead it's like trying to sell a product to yourselves, you always end up selling.

Lesson learnt: Discuss your ideas with prospective clients.

4. Entrepreneurs are always in a hurry! They miss almost every signboard on the way, travelling faster towards the wrong destination.

Ironically all entrepreneurs tend to ignore the Wisdom literature, which contains proven formulas and hundreds-and-hundreds of years of experience. Yes! The world--our forefathers have left us with a tremendous source of knowledge and information upon which we could build our foundation.
But repeatedly we tend to ignore it!
Lesson learnt: Spend ample time reading books authored by leading business consultants around the world.

5. "No Golden Pyramid - No business"

I have been talking about essential steps before starting a business in a few paragraphs above. But I didn't specify any. The essential steps are collectively called "Golden Pyramid" principles. We failed to implement it for every business we tried and obviously we failed in all of them.
Surprisingly all it takes is the a few hours of the time plus a paper plus a pen, to come up with/complete the Golden Pyramid principles for any business. For those of you, who has no idea what Golden Pyramid is all about, you can consider it as a business plan.

Year ahead (2009-2010)

I have come up with few rules, which would keep us aligned and could act as a guide in preventing us from repeating the mistakes we committed in the previous year.

1. Plan, Plan, Plan.
2. Focus upon the results.
3. Capitalise on the wisdom of our forefathers.
4. Slowdown and proceeded at the natural pace.
5. Do one thing at a time and do it well.

Appreciable works:

Not everything we did our blunders. They are also areas in which we have performed exceptionally well! And here they are...
Human resource has been increased by 200% from a humble 2 (Nisha & Bala) to 6 with the addition of (Ezhil, Krishna, Tom & Thiyaga) in less than an year.
Sagarius dared to apply for a tender worth $4 million at par with established companies.
Successfully completed 15+ projects in a span of 4 months and raise funds close to 2L INR by means of it.
Quick to realise that, what we're doing is not worthwhile and immediately ceased all operations not related to Goddess.

In spite of all that has happened, I feel proud that we are still together and I know we will be together forever, of course building Sagarius!

5 people I met @ Hyderabad!

A few days ago I received a parcel from Avinash:Hyderabad. The parcel's contents:
A cheque book, A photo featuring both of us and A gift from Avinash -- its a book,,, the title read -- "The five people you meet in Heaven"

The gist of the book "All endings are also beginnings, we just don't know it all the time....." Its about the story of a maintenance worker Eddie, who dies at the beginning of the story and reportedly meets 5 people in HEAVEN. Needless to say, it 's a pure work of fiction and a thought provoking imagination. At the end of which the author does nothing but make the readers "Sit in silence"

Seconds before I read this book to completion and as you already know, I was sitting in silence--nothing but silence. Thought of calling Avinash just to drop a few words on the book and the read! To acknowledge the thought he had, when picking this book for me. But the time is odd "8:48AM", he could be anywhere, multiple chances that he could be probably busy. Bingo! Its Saturday, holiday, the chances are fare he is still at sleep. "Grrr-Grrr"

Having read about 5 people Eddie met in HEAVEN, like anyother human would do,, I started imagining the 5 people for me.

Nonetheless, I wasn't much bothered about heaven, rather at Hyderabad.

Curious to know the chosen 5,,,,OK,, Here goes the list:

1. A for Appetite :@ A for Avil

I was one amongst few hundreds who would sum up to the population & pollution of Hyderabad in search of livelihood, everyday. I knew no one, which leaves me a perfect stranger in a distant land. But the stage was well set. I met Avil and rest is ... Ha,, I won't say History,,

Against all odds of being HISTORY it was just FUNNY.

Avil, if this is you, reading this,, "Jab we met!"

2. B for Boyish :P K for "Kishore"

A tall man...Haaaaaa.. He is my project lead, an advisor, a companion, a man and finally a friend. He is high on ethics and low on... dunno. I couldn't think of any. To summarize what he taught me... 2 things.. "work while you work and play while you play", the usual PL's stuff. The other one is.. "If running away from tax could get you one more house, then what's the difference?"

Simple Kishore: 'That one house'.

Ombudsman kindly note: he already has a big house!! HA HA

Kishore, if this is you reading this... "You are the Ringmaster of Jsmtpd". What "Ringmaster" means in this context is left as an exercise to the readers.

3. C for CodeGuru,, T for Thiyaga:

He is my mentor, sitting besides me with an aura of a saint. We call him code guru. 'cz obviously he is one of the master coders and I would always expect a go from him in what ever code change I do. If he says OK! then thats it, thats the end, irrespective of whether he is right,, Its thiyaga's call! Its Thiyaga passed! Thiyaga OK! Thiyaga tested! Thiyaga reviewed! See,, so many certificates all under one banner -- Our master coder--Thiyaga! "Hi thiyaga, didn't expect this ha"

Awesome programmer and a humble human being. He always thinks he lacks an edge with girls. The truth is he hasn't tried his hands on it. A handsome guy-- "Muscularrrrrrrrrr, Popularrrrrrrr, Spectacularrrrrr,, he 's a bachelorrrrrrrr"

Now girls are aware!! Thiyaga better BEWARE!!

4. D for Duty || S for Sivaprakash:

He was my colleague first, then a business partner, a think tank and finally my room-mate. A techie by birth, a hard worker by interest, driven purely by hope and has high profile dreams. One day I'm sure he will be one of silicon valleys most admired entrepreneurs. He has planned to acquire GOOGLE by 2020 -- All the best Shiva!! His personal life is enviable...

Especially his lifestyle w.r.t DUTY. Its really HeavyDuty. If only you could understand what I mean....

Hi Shiva,, Missing those Saturday nights.. Kok-ra-ko

5. E for END!! -- S for Silent Killer:

One all listings, the last one is special! So special, the moment I thought of the 5 people, I reserved Silent Killer for last! Why?

After all,, "She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named",, of all places on earth,, played havoc with my heart!

Hey Killer,, All endings are also beginnings, we just don’t know it all the time….

Epilogue: Lessons from the "5 people I met @ Hyderabad"

Live like Kishore!

Work like Thiyaga!

Have a guy like Avinash!

've an Amazing Attitude. Remember, he is with AMAZON. He is Shiva!

*some text missing*

Juno is now just an "Empty Place"

This post speaks about....

Juno..
What it meant for me...
Strings attached..
Places I spent time around..

an' finally,,

What happened to all of them??

Juno Online was the company I got placed in campus interview on 19th July 2006. Since that day I was abound with ideas and thoughts about life at Juno and at Hyderabad. One of my placement wishes was I must not be put up at Chennai, and when the surprise came along,, I was literally on the top of the world and instantly I know its just my cup of tea.

Approximately after an year in July 16th '07, when I entered the company, the tea tasted well. A bunch of freshers, all new faces from different parts of India,, especially from Andhra(weird ha,, yes!, may be the HR folks at Juno might have an array of logical explanation, but,,, none of us knew what) The assortment was different and the reason for which each one of us were picked was not immediately apparent,, they have a good old strategy,, but what 's the difference,,,, the place allocated for me..... It was something I didn't have the faintest idea, that I would love and will write "volumes about"...

One year and half a month since, it was on September 02 '08,,,, a strange day indeed. Reason--"my last working day". A journey well started,, has come to an end. This uncertainity too has a reason, but this 's just another string against the whole lot out there!

6th floor, Babukhans' millennium center, Somajiguda is where the company is housed. My favourite hang-out were the terrace of the building, which boasts a marvellous view of Hussain Sagar lake, Buddha statue, Jalavihar, Birla mandhir temple and Necklace road railway station. Not to mention eat street and the Necklace Road itself. This view is one of the best of images imprinted in my brain since birth. Wait!! The list is not over,,, climate too wants a role!! Its view at night time is awesome and if it rains OMG,, nothing less that mind-blowing. I had spent so many evenings at the terrace of the building,,,,,,, "alone". One place I would love to visit given a chance is definitely "Juno Terrace",,,, annnnnnn' guess who I'll take for company????

hmmmmm thats.......... nobody. Its all for the magnificent desolation the view 's gonna give. Sorry folks,, no spoilers around!!

Just think of the amount of time I would 've spent and the vast collection of thoughts that would have occurred.... I still remember,,,, when ever I climbed the roof, one thing the terrace gave me was company,, nothing but company....

I loved solitude,, an' I know the roof knew it.....

Freaked out, stressed, happy, sad, emotional, the combination of the above.. whatever, the vastness of the terrace was always there, just waiting for me, but now....... its just an empty place...

I once commented, "If Juno Terrace is my workstation, then Hussain Sagar is the wall paper". Now I could feel it,, Its a comment well said and not to be forgotten...

Too many to tell,,,, my chair besides Thiyaga, the cafetaria, the conferance hall, the discussion room, the tt table, lotus pond, frankie shop, shopping mall and traffic jam....oh,,
Now when I look back, they are now just an empty place.....

having left the place,,
i can only think of those days,,
there 's no solace
either ways,, its missing my face,,,
Juno is now just an empty palce...

:(

A Bookish Kinship!!!

In 1st week of September'08 around an hour for noon, my GTalk status read "A Bookish Kinship", why was that? The reason behind that is quite interesting, and there was also a surprise waiting for me at the end of the day to match the status.

There was a kiddo among the freshers, he joined Juno this July. Ya, a kiddo!! Ofcourse he is not really a kid, but that is what I used to call him. He is Shiv.

It was today I got Shiv a book, a classic to be precise. "The Tale Of Two Cities". I did not tell him I got a book for him. I just thought I'll give him when I leave for the day. He usually doesn't mail me, but today I got a mail from him an' the mail read, "I've got a book for you -- The Alchemist". SURPRISE!!! I responded," I too 've got one for you!!! :D"

But I was in an intention of gifting the book for him, while I wasn't clear about his. I jus went to his place and I gifted him the classic. As he gave me "The Alchemist", I was reluctant to pick it up..[34,000 Feet]* I resisted it and somehow I managed to get off from him without the book.

Then I felt bad and replied to the mail saying that, "There wasn't really any problem in accepting the book, but I'm leaving Hyderabad tomorrow and you may not get it back"

His reply was something worth mentioning, "May be we did not get enough time to get along with each other, but this book could be one perfect momento I could give you". Ya, he was right, his intentions were clear.

Then I said, "Its OK! Sign the book an' give it to me! I 'll accept it" I liked this guy already and this incident created a new dimension to our relationship.

A kinship which could be attributed to the books we exchanged. Whatelse do you call this but "A Bookish Kinship"??.

The second surprise!

It was the previous day around 9PM @ Crosswords a big-book shop in CITI-Center, Banjara Hills, while I purchased "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", I saw a book called "Business, the ultimate resource". The book was besides the billing counter, when I was in the queue awaiting my turn. The book caught my sight just by its sheer appearance. Certainly Big enough to catch ones eyes.

I asked the storekeeper to get me the book just for a look. The moment I looked at it I knew this is the book I'm gonna need for my business. But I know, as I'm leaving Hyderabad once for all in a couple of days, carrying it would be a really tough nut to crack,,

its such a big book probably 1.5 times the biggest Dictionary you have ever seen

,, IMAGINE! So I thought I would either purchase it in Coimbatore or through Amazon and half-heartedly left the place. :(

"Enough of flash back".

Lets get back to today!

As I'm about to leave Juno the next day, my team was desperate to get me a gift which I would like, but the problem was they wanted to give me cash. Being a team governed by a very practical PL, Jsmtpd puts egos & formalities aside and does first things first while focusing on the results. Anyways they wanna present me something, why not cash? But I on the other hand, being an adamant, sentimental idiot,, couldn't settle for this. I felt that getting cash for a gift is nothing but a formality.

So the team deceided to buy out something for me! For me alone!!!

I said I want the book "Business-The ultimate resource". So you guys could get me that an' I sent them the Amazon link to the book.

That evening we(Thiyaga, Avinash, me and Sharath -- "A rare combo") visited Walden to purchase gifts for Kishore(My PL) for completing 5 years. As the purchase is done, we decided to get my gift too.

But "fortunately" that book wasn't there.

Why is it "fortunately"?? The answer follows.. As there 's no other way we decided to visit "Crosswords" in CITI-Center, the place where I saw the book to make the purchase. The real scene was here.

We got the book and the cashier said the cost of the book is 2000 INR, but I remember very well that there 's a discount on this book. Its not magic but the other day the one at the counter, who fetched the book for me said that this one costs 1600/-. But the cashier wasn't ready for the discount, he said what the computer says is final.

And what will the computer say,, it just said 2000/-.

Now its Thiyaga's turn. He boastfully snapped at the cashier,

"Get us a fresh copy then!"

Though the one right in front of us was as fresh as a new born. Inevitably store keeper ordered his attendant for a fresh piece. After all, the first of all works of a storekeeper is to bend to rubbish requests of mad customer like us, who demand a new book against a new book. He got the so called fresh copy. Nevertheless, this one is special,, neatly packed,, with a small yellow sticker on the top right of it, which read:

50% OFF
Original Price: Rs. 2000
Our Price:       Rs. 999

Before the cashier could realise what has happened, we started celebrating with Hooooos & Heyyyyyys, cheering and creating a mess around that place like the craziest of monkeys the world has ever seen -- in a book shop of course. LOL :@

Poor fellow, what else can he do? He billed the book at 999/-. We walked away happily.

Despite the fact it was my last day at Hyderabad,, it was one the best days!!! It was this book I wished for and there were these guys who got it for me! So this incident attaches a new string for our relationship an' do remember it 's 'coz of a book and 'coz of a book after all. Have read this so far, now tell me,, should I change the status??

:D

---------------------------------------------------------
* I wrote this when left Hyderabad on 02nd Sep'08, was travelling in a SpiceJet flight, it was precisely at this moment the pilot announced we were probably 34,000 feet above sea level. LOL